New THC Vaginal Lubricant Foria Gets Your Vagina High

foria thc weed lubricantFor centuries civilizations have experimented with how to incorporate cannabis into everyday products, almost as much as I’ve experimented with how to incorporate everyday products into my masturbatory habits. Well now, thanks to Foria, the flagship product from California-based Aphrodite Group, those worlds have collided in a blissfully lubricated marriage of the minds with the word’s first medical marijuana-based lube.

According to its website, Foria is a “natural sensual enhancement oil thoughtfully designed for women”, which of course means this man here wants in. While men are perfectly able to use the product, the vagina as a mucous membrane is particularly well-suited for toking up and enjoying the benefits of the product. **CHECKOUT THESE SMOKE RINGS!!**

The lubricant is comprised of liquid coconut oil and lab-tested cannabis oil from California-grown marijuana. Better yet, the product is vegan, chemical and additive free, sugar free, and gluten free, which is great because my penis gets gassy just walking into a bakery.

Of course the downside of being oil-based is that the lube can’t be used with condoms since it increases the risk of tearing, but I’ve never known a stoner who remembers to use condoms anyway.

foria weed lube bottleIf you do decide to use Foria on your hacky sack, it can be applied directly to all manners of the genitals both internally and externally. You can even ingest Foria, with seemingly endless spirals into introspection and ego-death results comparable to that of traditional marijuana edibles.

Pyschotropic responses to the product when used externally are varied, though multiple women claim that Foria use resulted in multiple orgasms, which is why I believe it probably makes an excellent hand moisturizer as well. And if your vagina reacts to weed anything like I do, it’ll be laying on the couch eating chicken wings and playing GTA 5 in no time.

Foria is developed and distributed by Aphrodite Group, a California medical marijuana collective who’s “dedicated to empowering women to access their full pleasure and well-being through natural therapeutics”. My attempts to find out more about the group were derailed when I googled “weed sex lube”.

Because the cannabinoid levels of Foria are comparable to other medical marijuana products (12 mg per recommended 6 sprays), Foria can only be obtained by those with a medical physician’s note and only in the state of California. According to its website, Foria hopes to be available in Colorado and Washington by fall.

Thankfully I’m visiting San Francisco in a few weeks, where I’ll be painting the town white as I jerk it and sing the Luniz classic, “I Got Five Inches On It”:

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About Eric Barry

Eric Barry is a Chicago comedian, writer, and creator of Full Disclosure, voted "Best Sex-Positive" podcast by the Chicago Reader. He holds a B.A. in Theater & Performance Studies from UC Berkeley, and his work has been featured on Huffington Post, Cosmo, SF Chronicle, and more. He is currently working on developing a pilot based off his time in the sex work industry.

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