Men Actually Get 3 Types of Erections And Other Boner Facts

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Despite what the Declaration of Independence might say, it turns out that not all boners are created equal. In fact, men can achieve three different types of erections, all classified under awesome.

According to BuzzFeed, who I turn to for all my medical information (see “What Type Of Cancer Do You Have?”), the three types of erections are identified as reflexogenic, psychogenic, and nocturnal.

Reflexogenic erections are the result of physical stimulation, typically occurring when your cousin holds that family reunion hug a couple seconds too long.

Psychogenic erections are those caused by fantasy, first discovered by 10-year-olds watching The Secret World of Alex Mack. One of the lesser-known powers of Alex was the ability to give men boners using the power of her mind.

The third type of erections are nocturnal, occurring 2-3 times per evening during REM cycles because your boner will sleep when you’re dead.

Ultimately none of this seems much like news and more of “how the sausage gets made”, when really I’m more interested in who’s gonna eat dat sausage.

Other Boner Facts:

Men get approximately 11 erections in a 24-hour cycle.

Fetuses as young as 16 months have been observed achieving erections, according to some guy who I can only hope described his occupation as Unborn Baby Boner Watcher on first dates.

Jonah Falcon holds the record for world’s longest penis, measuring 13.5 inches erect and 9.5 inches when twice the length of my erect penis. [Listen to my interview with Jonah Falcon here.]

Most men require 130ml, or about 25 teaspoons, or about a glass of wine’s worth of blood to get an erection, or just a glass of wine.

According to a 1955 study by Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, the smell of doughnuts combined with licorice increased blood flow to a man’s penis by 32 percent. Although I’m pretty sure putting a piece of licorice into a doughnut’s center was considered porn in 1955.

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This news brought to you by my phone, which automatically texts me Boner Alerts.

About Eric Barry

Eric Barry is a Chicago comedian, writer, and creator of Full Disclosure, voted "Best Sex-Positive" podcast by the Chicago Reader. He holds a B.A. in Theater & Performance Studies from UC Berkeley, and his work has been featured on Huffington Post, Cosmo, SF Chronicle, and more. He is currently working on developing a pilot based off his time in the sex work industry.

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